Mohabbat Ki Diary Ki Ibtida
Main bohat say dinon say chah rahi thi k apnay baray main kuch likhon is liay k main khud say batyin karna chah rahi thi. lakin main kia karun Islamabad main cousin pass thi… Kaisay likh pati lakin ab mujhay khud say batyin karnay ki zarurat hi nahi kyon k koi ha naa meri batyin sunnay k liay…
Aik shaksh ka insan ki zindagi pe itna farq bhi par sakta ha mujhe nahi pata tha. Mujhe ab pata chala ha. Yeh kia ha… Mere charon taraf woh hai, meri subah us k tasawur say shuru hoti ha aur shaam us ki yaad main guzar jati ha… Subah aankh khulti ha to zehan main aik tasveer hoti ha jisay dekh k mere honton pe muskurahat aa jati ha… Aur mera din usi ko deekhtay guzatra ha.. aur usi ko sochtay raat ho jati ha…
Mujhe na janay kia ho gaya ha. Mujhe kuch aur sojhta hi nahi… Kion main itna pyar karnay lagi hoon. Mujhe khud pe yakeen hi nahi aata k yeh main hoon. Mujhe us k baghair zindagi mushkil lagnay lagi ha… Jaisay sansain ruk jayin gi… Jaisay meri zindagi main kuch nahi rahay ga…
Woh mere demag say nikaltay hi nahi.. Qabza kar k beth gaye hain.. Mujhe ghusa bohat aata ha par un k saath is tarah hoti hoon jaisi ice-cream… haan naa… naram bhi aur thandi bhi… Un ka ghussa to naak pe hota ha… Bohat ghussa kartay hain… Par mujh say nahi hota… Agar un pe aaye bhi to gayab ho jata ha… Dar-asal mere dil main pyar ziada ha is liay ghussay ki jagah nahi rehti… Par woh agar ghussa kartay hain to pyar bhi to kartay hain naa.. Mujh say dartay bhi hain (drama) aur meri sub bhi laitay hain… Main isi main khush ho jati hoon… Woh aik bar izhar kartay hain aur meri khushi ki intiha nahi rehti… Main to hawaoun main urnay lagti hoon… Zameen pe mere qadam kahan partay hain… Isi liay to gar woh ghussa karain ya la-parwahi karain to mujh pe gehra asar hota ha…
Kiya woh bhi mujh say itna hi pyar kartay hain? Kiya mera hona na hona un pe asar andaz hota ha? Main chahti hoon woh bhi mujh say utna hi pyar karain jitna main karti hoon… Utna nahi to us say bhi ziada… Main janna chahti hoon… Main un say poochna chahti hoon… Par woh… meesnay… Ab un ko kehna chahiay naa! Agar yeh nahi kar saktay thay to pyar karnay ki zaroorat kia thi… Phir mujh say izhar karnay ki zaroorat kia thi…
Main abhi bohat khush hoon pata ha kyon… Is liay k meri abhi un say baat hui ha… Jin k baray main main likh rahi hoon…
